July 28, 2017

Body confidence

I wanted to write this blog post because I recently watched The DUFF and I feel like I'm a DUFF. If you don't know what a DUFF is: DUFF stands for Designated Ugly Fat Friend. I know DUFF's aren't necessarily ugly and fat but sometimes I feel like I am. I've always been the "fattest" girl in the group. I've always had these beautiful skinny friends and I always felt like I was not one of them.
Or another example is my sister. She's way skinnier than me and when we were in high school, everyone always asked stuff about my sister or say,"oh you're her sister, right?" Yeah, I always kinda felt like a DUFF but I never knew there was a specific term for that. Now that I've watched the movie, I couldn't resist writing a blog post about being fat & ugly, or in general: body confidence.

To be honest, everyone always has their good and bad days, but it feels like I have more bad days than good days. I'm not that happy with my body. I have a lot of stretch marks, cellulite and I wish I was slimmer.

I always compare myself with everyone else. I have always wanted to be more beautiful. When I'm at school or just anywhere, I always look at other people's body and compare it to mine. I know it's something that I shouldn't do, but that's just who I am. That's one of the reasons why I can be so jealous. My boyfriend is amazing, but like every normal human being, he likes pictures of other girls. The sad part of it is that they're always slim, beautiful and natural. You barely see me without make-up because I feel ugly without it...

The way I look at myself is not entirely my own fault. In high school, there were some people that thought they could just say what they thought of me. Everybody complains about my pale skin, about my big boobs and that I'm too fat to wear a crop top. There was this one time that my sister was talking with her friend about my boobs, that they were too big and that they were ugly (don't mind that that friend has fake boobs now and that they're way too big and look so fake). And last year, 2 girls from my year were saying that I was too fat to wear a crop top. They said something like "I don't understand that she wears a crop top when she's that fat." For those who follow me on Instagram, in this picture you can see the crop top/outfit they were talking about. They are one of the reasons that I hate my body...

There are days that I want a different body, but in the end I am who I am and people have to accept me like this!

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