Life update | december 2019

I wanted to give you guys an update on how my life is going, how I’m doing, etc. I felt like writing a blog post just so I could write down my feelings. I kind of need it.

So today is the last day I’ll ever be attending class at Thomas More Geel. I mean, I hope so lol. I have exams in January and then an internship in February until May. I’m really looking forward to my internship and I think that’s because it’s the only thing that’s positive regarding school. I’ve been so stressed the entire semester. The teachers expected so much of us, every day I came home and I barely had time to do something that I enjoyed. I constantly felt like I had to do something for school or I’d be wasting my parent’s money. And when I did something that I enjoy, I felt guilty.

Besides the workload, a lot of people at my school have been acting weird towards me. At the beginning of my bachelor’s degree, I had a couple of good friends, and now, for some reason, they’re not my friends anymore. I don’t really know what I did wrong. When I asked what I did wrong, the reason they gave me felt like a lie. And to be honest, the last couple of weeks I didn’t feel the need to make an effort anymore. These ‘friends’ have been letting me feel like shit almost the entire time and not just this semester. Maybe it’s good that they’ve finally decided not to talk to me or to act weirdly around me. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t care or that I don’t think about it. I’ve been constantly thinking about what I did wrong or why they’d do something like that. But I guess I’ll never know the answer.

I do, however, talked to some other girls from my class, and they’ve been there for me when my ‘friends’ weren’t. They’ve been so kind and helpful and they’re the best. I hope that we’ll stay in touch during our internships!

Metal health
I think this semester has been the worst semester mental health-wise. I’ve been feeling like shit the entire semester, I feel depressed and I’m overthinking 24/7. I’m also not sleeping that well and it’s messing with me. I’ve been debating on going to my therapist again but, for some reason, I don’t want to. But writing all this down is kind of helping me so I’ll just see. I think that once I’m doing my internship, everything will be (a bit) better. I won’t have time to think about my ‘friends’, I won’t have homework anymore because the only thing that I’ll have to do is do my internship and write a thesis.

My boyfriend’s been so supporting this semester because he knows what I’m going through. He knows that I’m struggling and he’s there for me. I couldn’t have wished for a better boyfriend. He found a new job a few weeks back and he’s looking for an apartment close to his new job. This means that I’ll be spending some more time with him! I won’t be living with him since I still live with my parents, and want to, until I graduate, but that means that I can visit him or stay with him for a few days whenever I want without his family around. I’m so excited for him that he’s taking the next step and I’ll be there for him, just like he’s there for me. I’m also really excited because I don’t really cook at home, my mum does, and now I’ll be able to experiment a bit more and cook some meals for him. I’ve been thinking about some fun spreads that I can add to my new Bullet Journal and one of the spreads will be a spread with recipes I want to cook. So I’m really excited to try out those recipes!

I haven’t been posting a lot this semester, just some reviews and blog tours. I haven’t felt that creative and that’s probably due to school and my mental health. Once this semester is over and I’m doing my internship, I think everything will be better. This week I’ve been writing some blog posts that are a bit different such as a list of anime that I watched in 2018–2019, it’s a new series that I want to start on my blog. I’ve also been thinking about a blog post about my new Bullet Journal: the brand, stationery that I use, new spreads that I want to make, … I hope I’ll be able to create this post next week or early January. I’m also going to make a spread for blog post ideas so I hope I’ll be giving you some new creative content in 2020!

So I didn’t expect for this post to be this long, but I guess I had a lot to say. I hope you guys are doing well and I wish you all a lovely Christmas and a happy New Year!