12 Feb 2020

Life update | February 2020

I wanted to post another update because a few things happened since my last update I posted in December. Some good things happened but also some bad things…

School
I had exams in January and I have some good news: I passed all my exams! I’m really happy because this means I’m one step closer to getting my degree. I’m really happy but at the same time, I’m really scared. I’m scared about my internship, my thesis and getting a job after graduating. I think this period will be stressy for me, but I’ll hopefully enjoy it as well.

As for the friend thing I mentioned in my previous post, it didn’t get better. It kinda got worse. I keep thinking about them and about what I did wrong for them to act like that towards me. I’m still thinking of previous conversations or things that they could be talking about behind my back. Sometimes I really really hate my anxiety. Some days I don’t think about them, but there are a lot of days when I do think of them…

Mental health
My mental health is kind of getting better but not that much. I thought my MH would improve once my exams were over and I got my grades, but it hasn’t improved that much yet. I think it’s because of the friend thing I mentioned above as well as the thoughts about my internship, thesis and finding a job.

My anxiety’s been driving me nuts about these things and I keep thinking that my boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore and that some people don’t like me anymore. I don’t know why I keep thinking that my bf doesn’t love me anymore because we recently celebrated our 6th anniversary. I think it’s the fear of people leaving me behind because so many friends did (in the past and the present). It feels like I’m easily left behind.

Blog
I was hoping that after my exams, I had some more inspiration to write some new blog posts. But no, there’s still no inspiration… I did create a little makeup tutorial last month and I’ve been keeping up with my Bullet Journal posts, but that’s it. All my other posts are bookish posts such as reviews, blog tours and cover reveals. I hope my inspiration will return pretty soon.

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